1.9.2016
Life is Short
We were in a boat. We were going to Mariana trench to see how deep it is. When where in Mariana trench we started to drop the submarine.We started to go down. 8 hours later it’s getting darker and darker here We saw some creepy animals like a goblin shark and angler fish, dumbo octopus, football fish, benthocodon and frilled sharks.
7 hours later.. Our submarine had shaken, I looked at the window the frilled sharks, there's a lot of them, we just went deeper and we made it the bottom of Mariana trench. I said how deep are we are he said 10,994 meters and (36,070 feet) I said "whoa!" Now we need to go back at the top. Our submarine had shaken again I look to the window the frilled sharks they were a hundreds of them, I ran to my friend. I said "Hey there's a hundreds of shark on the window!" He looked at me and said "there’s nothing to do we have to think a plan quickly before the frilled sharks kill us. But were late the frilled shark made a hole on our submarine my friend says Help I can’t breath!! But I can’t help my friend because he is on the driver seat and i'm on the back of the submarine I tried to swim on the driver’s seat but see him out of breath and I’m running out of breath too 3,2,1.. The phone on the submarine is ringing beep! beep! Beep! They know that we are in trouble because we're not answering they go to the Mariana Trench fast as they could but I run out of breath my eyes flashes before the submarine came…..
7 hours later.. Our submarine had shaken, I looked at the window the frilled sharks, there's a lot of them, we just went deeper and we made it the bottom of Mariana trench. I said how deep are we are he said 10,994 meters and (36,070 feet) I said "whoa!" Now we need to go back at the top. Our submarine had shaken again I look to the window the frilled sharks they were a hundreds of them, I ran to my friend. I said "Hey there's a hundreds of shark on the window!" He looked at me and said "there’s nothing to do we have to think a plan quickly before the frilled sharks kill us. But were late the frilled shark made a hole on our submarine my friend says Help I can’t breath!! But I can’t help my friend because he is on the driver seat and i'm on the back of the submarine I tried to swim on the driver’s seat but see him out of breath and I’m running out of breath too 3,2,1.. The phone on the submarine is ringing beep! beep! Beep! They know that we are in trouble because we're not answering they go to the Mariana Trench fast as they could but I run out of breath my eyes flashes before the submarine came…..
Hi Vann,
ReplyDeleteYour story is amazing, I like when the sharks attacked the submarine.You could make changes like your punctuation, remember that you need to double check your spelling and make sure it make sense.
Nice cliffhanger at the end.I would love to know the ending.the description of settings are great!
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting on my blog!
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