Humans vs Ghouls

For the last few weeks, we were working on narrative stories. My topic was about Humans vs Ghouls. I wrote about a person named Kaneki which was the main character, I took inspiration from an anime called "Tokyo Ghoul." Anyways Kaneki was just a normal citizen, but that all changed. I won't tell any more spoilers but I hope you enjoy the story. I might also make a second season of the story, but I'm not that sure about it.

Humans vs Ghouls

Chapter One: The Dare...

A bell rang as we entered the shop, It smelt astonishing with the essence of coffee. “Hey let’s go sit in that table!” Said Hide in an excited voice, we sat down and discussed things. He started talking about pretty boring stuff, like some opportunities at school. Suddenly he invited me to play a game. I got curious about what game we were going to play. How about we play “truth or dare..?” We played a couple rounds of paper, scissors, and rock to see who will lose. He was undefeated, I have always won when we play this game, it was odd. Hide moved closer to me and whispered to my ears… “I dare you to, follow a random person who leaves the cafe..” I was puzzled on why he wanted me to follow a random person, but it seemed like he had a plan…

Someone named Touka came up to us and gave us our order, I took a sip of the coffee. When suddenly someone was about to leave the cafe, “Hurry, Kaneki!”. I swiftly stood up to my chair and followed the person and noticed she was a woman. She left the shop, liquid from the sky started to fall to the ground. It started to rain, I was lucky that I had my umbrella. I kept following her she was heading to a pitch-black space.  It was near the construction site, I felt a bit nervous. “I should’ve not listened to Hide and follow someone else...” But she kept walking and closer and closer to the construction site, unexpectedly she stopped…

“Who are you…?” She said in a deep voice, I got horrified on what might happen to me. I already knew I was in big trouble. She went up to me, I felt pain on my shoulders. I checked my eyes widened as blood was pouring out of my shoulders, “What are you doing?!”, I shouted. I felt a bit nausea. I saw her with tentacles-like on her back but with only four, swiftly she stabbed me in the chest “Die!!“ “No, please stop it…”, I cried. “I won’t be able to survive for any longer,” she said. That was all I remembered from that day…

Chapter Two:  A Monster...

I woke up, and my left eye was in pain. I stood up from a comfy bed, I walked around. I saw a mirror and I saw myself, my eye was black and had red cracks. “What happened..?” I remembered the unfortunate time when I almost could have died. “Am I dead?” I whispered to myself. As I walked someone was knocking on the door, I opened and an old person was holding two coffee. I let him in and we sat down, he looked familiar to me but I just couldn't remember. We talked and he explained why I was here, finally I remembered that he was the owner of the coffee shop. “You can stay here anytime you want to.”, he said. He left the room, I took a sip of the coffee. It tasted was wonderful, it was the best coffee I have ever tasted. My cup of coffee was finished, I went downstairs to see if I could get another cup. As I walked down there were other rooms, they had names of the people living inside. When I got down, the place was empty. No customers… I walked up to the owner, “Why is the place empty, It’s morning?”

“The shop hasn’t opened yet..” he smiled.  

He gave me another cup of coffee, I asked him how he makes his coffee so delightful. He showed me how he made coffee, it looked complicated. “How about you try to make one for yourself?”. I began making me one, every single time I get something wrong he guides me through it. Meanwhile, I finally got it. He tested the coffee, “It might be even better than mine!” He said. I felt proud, and I got hired to work as a barista…

I was walking home alone when suddenly I heard people screaming. I sneaked to the corner and took a peek, I saw a guy killing innocent citizens. I was frightened, I only took a glance who he was, he had yellowish hair and had glasses. Just then he killed the people and I shouted: “Who are you?!” He didn’t talk, just then I felt a strong sharp object go through my back. It was a feeling like before. He raised me up while I spat out blood. I felt my eyes turning and getting painful. His eyes, they were black with red cracks. It was the same eye I saw in the mirror.

I struggled my way out of the unknown weapon he’s using, I was infuriated my vision changed on my left eye. My back was rumbling with movement, something wasn’t right. I have turned to something horrible. A ghoul…

Chapter 3: The Solution...

A new day has begun and the start of our school was opened for another year before it gets rebuilt. I ran to school with an eyepatch on my left eye, I used it to cover my eye. Just when I entered I heard someone yelling my name. “KANEKI!!”. He went behind on my back and hugged me, “Where were you?” He asked. I lied to him by saying that I went back home because I felt sick. He asked me why I have an eyepatch on my left eye, “It just randomly got painful, I’m not sure why… I couldn't let my best friend know what I have turned into.

We walked into the office to ask if there are another opportunities for a play this year. Just when I was about to knock on the door, Hide suddenly busted his way in without knocking. “Hey, Manners!” He shouted he looked familiar to me. “Hi Mr Yomo, I am Hide and this is my friend Kaneki…” His eyes widened, “Nice to meet you Kaneki…” I moved closer to Hide and whispered: “How do you know him?” “Hey! There are still a few more hours before school starts, let’s go eat somewhere.” He suggested, “Let’s go Kaneki!” Before I could get away Hide grabbed my hand and followed the student council. He headed to a shop for food, then he kicked Hide right in the stomach and knocked him unconscious. “HIDE!!” I shouted I threw the food that he gave me and ran after Hide. Yomo walked slowly near me, “What have you done?” Just then a person came, it was the person who gave us our order. Touka...

A few hours later…

I was saved, and Hide was getting healed in the hospital, I was home feeling exhausted and starving. I rapidly went to my fridge and grabbed something to eat, I saw a cake so I grabbed a slice. I took a bite, but I swiftly spit it out. It tasted like ash for some reason. I took another bite, it tasted like ash once again I tried to consume it but I couldn't handle the taste. I felt like I was not human, I grabbed a burger from the fridge and ate a piece. I couldn’t understand it… Everything I ate tasted like ash, I got more frightened, more frightening than a demon stealing your soul. However, I felt like that I was the demon, a monster. The coffee shop, I need to go to the coffee shop. It was the only source of food I can only drink since when the incident happened. I hurried to the coffee shop, craving for food and help. When I got to the coffee shop and I quickly asked the owner why everything I ate tasted like ash.

The look on his face, it looked like he knew something. “Stay here…”, he came back holding a something that smelt like I can eat. He took out the wrapping, and it looked like food. He gave it to me and I took a bite. For some reason, it tasted pretty good. The owner of the shop took a glance of me. He knew something, I wasn’t sure what he was thinking about… “Come back here tomorrow, I must explain something…”

End Of Season...

Mariana French (Mariana Trench)

Last week we have been doing a information report, we had a choice of what report we are doing like history. But I did the ocean, I chose the ocean because I liked it. It took me 1 week to finish this report because I wasn't here at Friday. But at least I finished it at home. I also have drawing of the two animals that I drew. Anyways I hope you enjoy and I hope you learnt something... Baboosh!

Drawings

Mysteries Of The Deep...

Do you know lots about the ocean? Do you know what Mariana Trench is? Is it safe? What animals is there? Well if you want to find out come and join me in my ocean exploration! Our topic will be about the ocean but did you know that we only have discovered 5% of our oceans! Really awesome right?! Don’t believe me? Well look at this How much of the ocean have we discovered? But maybe some of you doesn’t like oceans. But wait! Before you go out and do what you want to do. I want to tell you about the ocean, because you might be interested to join me and explore the wonderful, mysterious, ancient and threatening Mariana Trench. “Ahh, my I’m out of breath…” (Joking) Anyways.

The Mariana Trench is the deepest part of the world’s oceans. It is 10,994 meters deep. It is located in the Western Pacific Ocean, an average of 200 kilometres (124 miles) to the east of the Mariana Islands, in the Western Pacific East of the Philippines. It is a crescent-shaped scar in the Earth's crust. So are you interested now? No!? “What do you mean no?” Fine how about this.. How about we learn about learn about the people that succeeded to go at the bottom of the Mariana Trench? Ok! Let’s go follow me…!

So it’s called Mariana Trench, and at the very bottom was the lowest point on Earth’s surface, “The Challenger Deep..” Its floor was seven terrifying miles down!

“No that has to be fake..!” Don’t believe me again? Hehe well read this. What lives at the bottom of the Mariana Trench?  “Pretty scary down there..”

But I don’t actually know why it’s called Challenger Deep, but I have one that why it’s called that way. Maybe it’s called Challenger Deep because it will be very challenging to get there because it’s very deep. That’s my fact, maybe you awesome divers have any fact about why it’s called Challenger Deep.

Are you still diving with me? If you are, we have lots to dive through like sharks! “Nah, I was just kidding…” I’m pretty sure you don’t want to dive /through sharks…

In 1989, James Cameron had an enjoyment imagining what might be at the bottom of a similar canyon when he made “The Abyss..” Which imagined quite a lot at the bottom of an unnamed Caribbean Trench. Then in February and March, he descended to the bottom of both New Britain and Mariana Trenches, lights and 3-D Hi-Def cameras were blazing, in a slender, lime green sub called the Deepsea Challenger.. He also dropped several autonomous landers built on similar design.

Are you enjoying about what I have said so far about the Mariana Trench and the Challenger deep? “Cool!” Because I have some more..!

But of course he wasn't the first spectator.. A different looking sub was invented, “The Bathyscaphe Trieste.” It was invented in 1960, but the Bathyscaphe Trieste was unable to observe much, and for whatever reason, little seemed to reach the public about what has been found since. Back in February, all footage of the Challenger dives and landers are being withheld by National Geographic until their can release their own 3-D feature film. Perfectly understandable, considering they helped bankroll the huge operation. The result, though, is that after all these visits to Challenger Deep, the view of the bottom remains largely and frustratingly shrouded to the rest of us. He went a little bit further than James Cameron too.

But there is still lots of more information about it, but i’m not going to say all of it to you. Because it would take very long, but here is a link if you want to actually know all about the Challenger Deep and the Mariana Trench. More Information. But we are going to skip at the people that successfully got to Mariana Trench. So now we are going to the animals that lives in the Mariana Trench….  

Now i’m probably wondering that you are thinking of krakens or other insane animals. But sadly there ain't no krakens at the Challenger Deep. But there will be a lot of cute or creepy alien looking animals in this report.

1. It’s an octopus that is very cute. It got it’s name from the elephant named dumbo… It’s called a Dumbo Octopus because it has ears like the elephant Dumbo. But this adorable animals has some special features, it has wiggly eyes and a pleasant puckered mouth. But that only adds to it’s cartoonish looks.

           

This may look dainty, but it’s actually strong enough to make it the deepest living octopus

Known to science..

It actually choose to make it’s home all the way down between 9,800 and 13,000 feet, or

2,987 and 3,926 meters.

     2. “The Deep Sea DragonFish” If the Dumbo Octopus is the least harmless looking animal.

Well this Dragonfish is the opposite. With it’s oversized teeth and his hideous face, the dragon fish is an assassin of the incomprehensible deep. Although this fish has no scales but it has very slippery, slimy skin that resembles an eel’s body…

The Dragonfish about 6 inches or 15 centimeters long, it prefers to swim between 700 and 6,000 feet, or 213 and 1,828 meters. Under the surface. So the Dumbo Octopus swims more deeper that this creature. But this Dragonfish likes to be in the cold and lightless water. But I actually thought that the water there should be hot because it is closer to the Earth’s core. But they said it is cold, and some said it was warm with a little bit of coldness…

3. Now let’s go to my favorite one, the “Goblin Shark” If you have ever seen any scary alien movies, this creepy alien looking shark might ruin your day. Goblin sharks have a protruding snout that looks like a pointy sword. Just below the snout are a set of protruding jaws that appear to be mismatched for the shark’s face.

If you can’t see some of the pictures just reload the page and hopefully it will work. But there are tons more of facts about this mysterious, ancient Mariana Trench. But I will let you explore the other things that I didn't say in this report. But I hope you enjoy! Peace Out...

Partly Cloudy.

This term we have been writing a story about a stork and a cloud. Then we had to write a story about it, so here is mine. I will put the video if you want to understand the video. But anyways I hope you enjoy. Bye!

Partly Cloud...

Video Link

Once upon a time, I had a job but only storks can only apply to this job. It is delivering wishes to people or even animals. I looked around the sky, the sky was so pink it looked like it was blushing. The clouds hovered the land some merged, they looked fluffy and enormous they looked like they were shaped as hills. Some storks flew over the white clouds, and they were holding white bags. Suddenly the storks went to there destination so did I. They delivered babies, cats and even dogs.

We went back into our clouds. They were waiting for there next I was feeling a bit jealous to the other storks, why? Because they always get the safe delivery and they are in higher spot. I was with my cloud but he was not like the other clouds, my cloud was grey and he always give me dangerous animals. But I had to keep my job. I wondered what he will give me next.

Then I got back to my cloud I was a bit slow because was almost featherless. I saluted to my cloud being ready for the next one, but I wasn’t actually ready I was afraid of what he will give me next. He swiftly grabbed me and scratching my head with his fist. So I softly pecked him , I said that I was ready for my next delivery. He laughed and turn back, then he suddenly showed a adorable baby crocodile. “Awwww!” I said, but he pounced on my head and he opened his mouth that my poor head went inside his mouth. I screamed “AHH!”  I tried to get him off my head the adorable or the deadly baby crocodile bit my head more. So I screamed again, but thanks to the cloud he helped me get the crocodile off me. I felt relieved but horrified at the same time. He made the bag that he can put the crocodile inside, I grabbed the bag with my beak very carefully and flew away from my cloud.

I finally delivered the crocodile. So I flew back to my cloud feeling very exhausted, I saw him making another animal I saluted once again but some of my feathers sadly fell off. My cloud was shocked so he quickly cleaned me. Then he grabbed me to the next animal, but I slowly backed away from the animal. He magically made the animal alive but the big hored baby goat rammed my stomach with his gigantic hardened horns. I took a very deep breath, I laughed trying to be fine but I looked up in the sky I saw the other storks having a good time. I was feeling jealous then I looked at my cloud feeling awkward but I grabbed the bag but I got rammed again but I still flew away once again.

I was back at my cloud, he showed me another animal but it didn’t seem to look deadly at the other animals. So I touch it suddenly it turned into a porcupine I was so shocked and hurt of its deadly spikes “AHHHHHHHH!!!” I screamed. I remembered that I threw him in the air so I looked up I had to catch the porcupine. Next he grabbed it and put it in the bag. The spikes went through the bag showing the spikes at the outside. I flapped my wing so that the spikes in my wings flew off, once again I carefully grabbed the bag and flew safely away from my cloud.

I got back on my cloud with spikes on my head. The cloud was shocked so he pull all the spikes off my head. Then hugged me. He remembered that he had one more delivery so he rapidly grabbed it. I backed away from it because it was so big and it had a huge mouth. I looked at the cloud near us giving out baby chicks. He gave me the shark, but I refused I flew at the cloud near us.

I thought I heard a something rumbling and it started to go darker I got a little scared but I knew that I would be safe in here. Suddenly I heard thunder they sounded terrible and loud, but It finally stopped. The cloud near us have me a bag, but unexpectedly it sounded it was raining. I knew that it might have been my cloud so I went back with the bag. I opened it, I saw on his face he was confused. I grabbed the shirt and put it on also the helmet. He once more hugged me and laugh with happiness, I was ready for the next one so he quickly reacted. He gave me an eel It didn’t look very deadly but it randomly shocked me, I screamed “Ahhh!” I knew that it was an electric eel but it shocked me again. I went closer to my cloud and laugh...

The Rhythm

This term we have been writing a story about an old man playing a piano. Then we had to wrote a story about it. So here is mine, i'll be showing you the video that we had to wrote a story about it. But I hope you enjoy bye!!

   The Rhythm 

 

Majestic music came from a gigantic pitch-black piano, I played a music that was the same as I played when I was with my wife. Soft rhythms came deep into my heart, as I tried to remember the cords in my head. As I played the piano, gold memories went back, I took off one of my hand and kept the other. It was that memory of that when I was playing the piano with my wife, that sadly passed away.

But I kept on playing and playing, my hand changed into different spots, my fingers also tapped into different keys. Then suddenly I felt a kiss, I got more happier and energetic. I kept playing the piano the rhythms got more depressing, afterwards a memory came. It was when I signed up to be a soldier. Then the first WW1 started, we had a war. My goal was to try save everyone that gets shot.

I went with a friend of mine,we both nodded that meant we were ready. My friend peeked out from the wall. Then shot hundreds of bullets to our enemy. But then he got shot, I rapidly went up to him but it was late… He sadly passed away.

I still kept playing and playing the rhythms got happier and gratified, next another memory came. It was my granson’s birthday, I gave him my present. Then he opened the box, he grabbed the toy inside of it. He always wanted it. I looked at his face he was very surprised and happy that he got what he always wanted.

But I was still playing the piano, the rhythms got low, then high. I saw in my memory, my grandson was playing with his toy, he was running and jumping around the room. But when I playing the piano I felt alone and sad. Then he went running up to me, he went up the chair and sit with me as I finish the cords. We both press a key to end the song. I felt very happy and proud that I remembered all the cords, and that I got a chance to looked back at my old memories. I told every memory to my grandson, so that he can have an experience of what I had been to...

Buster The Boxer

This term, we have been learning about a short video that is called Buster The Boxer. We had to write a story about it. So this is my post about the story, I will also show you the video if you want to watch it. So I hope you have a great day Bye!

The Video: Buster The Boxer

Success Criteria

We need to focus on these things

• Full stops, capital letters,
• Paragraphs
• Speech Marks (new line for each speaker)

Then her mum suddenly came through the door, she looked out the window, she saw her husband building, I looked out the window as well, he was building this humongous thing, he even hurt his finger. As I watched it looked like he was finished and I thought that this gigantic thing could be a trampoline.

Later her mum put my owner to sleep and so I went running to the living room. I looked at the sliding door, I saw two fox appeared into the night and the woods but also got into our backyard.

Afterwards they were looking at a trampoline and it had a ribbon on it so I thought that it might been a gift for my trainer, and then I saw them jump on the trampoline.

1st Fox - “Hey what could this be?”

2nd Fox - “I don’t know.”

1st Fox - “This looks like I could jump on it.”

1st Fox - “Woah!”

2nd Fox - “I wanna try.”

1st Fox - “Sure!”

2nd Fox - “This is so fun!”

1st Fox - “Wait.”

2nd Fox - “It looks like someone wants to join.”

1st Fox - “It’s a Badger!”

Badger - “Hey can I join you?”

1st Fox - “Sure you can”

I stared at them the whole time, and I was starting to get envious. I wanted to go there, but I can’t. Suddenly  there were more of them jumping around in the trampoline, there was a Squirrel and porcupine.

1st Fox - “ Woohoo!!”

2nd Fox - “ I love jumping!”

Badger - “More more more!!”

Squirrel - “YES!!”

Porcupine - “ Weehee!”

I got really really jealous. I just wanna join and have fun, but I can’t I had to wait until tomorrow. I was still staring at them, they were just jumping and jumping.

I woke up I saw my owner getting ready and rapidly went down to the living room.  I went too I saw her dad open the door, the snow was so cold as my paws touched it, I saw my trainer’s face she was astonished, amazed, shocked. She quickly ran at the trampoline and felt super excited.

I jumped and jumped I felt so joyful, I just kept jumping and then I looked at my owner’s face she was confused and looked a bit scared. But I just still kept jumping, I even barked I was having that much fun!  

Roswell UFO Speech

This term we have been learning about mysteries, and as you know I have 2 different posts about the Roswell UFO Incident. Well this post is different, this post is a speech about the "Roswell UFO Incident". But I had to write a speech first and after I finished the speech I have to practice the speech for a bunch of times. Then after practicing I had to do the slideshow. Next I recorded myself. Well I hope you enjoy the speech and I also hope you learned something bye! 

The Cloud

Last term - Term 1. Mr. Scott showed us a small animation of a cloud. Then we had to write a small story of it, so I wrote a story of a cloud. But this was supposed to be already posted last term, well when I tried to post it, it turned in to a draft. But here is the cloud I hope you enjoy and have a great day BYE! 

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My Learning Goals 2017!!!

For the last few weeks we we're doing some test so that we know what we will need to learn about. So after we finished our test we had to make a slideshow about our Learning Goals for 2017 and this is what I need to learn and practice more about. So I hope you like it anyway byeeee!! 😎

Dear Future Me

Dear Future Me,

By the time you read this many years will have passed.  In fact you will be turning 25 years old.  This is a reminder of what your goals, dreams and aspirations were as a 9 year old.

Let’s start with your career, first of all I’ve gone to work at University to learn to be a Pilot and travel around the world. If you didn't know my dream was to be a Pilot because being a Pilot is amazing but being a Pilot could probably be hard work too.

After that  let’s talk about sports. As you really know you are really interested to play sports especially soccer. Your goals was to be a famous soccer player and your other goal was to represent Philippines National football team.  

Now let me tell you all the destinations that I wanted to explore.

My first was is to travel seven destinations. The 1st destination that I wanted to explore was Rio and look at the Christ the Redeemer. The second destination I wanted to explore more was Egypt I wanted to look at the Pyramid of Egypt. The 3rd destination I wanted to have fun is Singapore and go to Malaysia and look at the Petronas Towers. 4th destination was Italy and look at the Colosseum 5th destination was Canada I wanted to see the CN tower and climb it. 6th destination is China and look at the Jiuzhaigou with the beautiful lakes, waterfalls and mountains landscapes.

7th destination will be the United States and find the landmarks that I want to look at the first landmark is the Golden Gate Bridge. The second landmark is  the Statue of Liberty The last landmark was going to be the Grand Canyon.

I really hope you get this letter and I hope you're really healthy and good health.

Your 9 years old me.

The Dream Final Draft

Life Is Short

1.9.2016

Life is Short

We were in a boat. We were going to Mariana trench to see how deep it is. When where in Mariana trench we started to drop the submarine.We started to go down. 8 hours later it’s getting darker and darker here We saw some creepy animals like a goblin shark and angler fish, dumbo octopus, football fish, benthocodon and frilled sharks.

7 hours later.. Our submarine had shaken, I looked at the window the frilled sharks, there's a lot of them, we just went deeper and we made it the bottom of Mariana trench. I said how deep are we are he said 10,994 meters and (36,070 feet) I said "whoa!" Now we need to go back at the top. Our submarine had shaken again I look to the window the frilled sharks they were a hundreds of them, I ran to my friend. I said "Hey there's a hundreds of shark on the window!" He looked at me and said "there’s nothing to do we have to think a plan quickly before the frilled sharks kill us. But were late the frilled shark made a hole on our submarine my friend says Help I can’t breath!! But I can’t help my friend  because he is on the driver seat and i'm on the back of the submarine I tried to swim on the driver’s seat but see him out of breath and I’m running out of breath too 3,2,1.. The phone on the submarine is ringing beep! beep! Beep! They know that we are in trouble because we're not answering they go to the Mariana Trench fast as they could but I run out of breath my eyes flashes before the submarine came…..

Space Chimp First Draft

W.A.L.T write a narrative

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when….

• The title is suitable for the text.
• The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
• The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
• The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
• Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.

The dream

In 1961 my rocket will launch into space. I was a young chimp called June they want me to go space to do an experiment. I bring a picture of my trainer and my. My trainer’s name was Charles. I’m going to be sent into space for 65 years to see if a chimpanzee can survive for 65 years. My heart was pounding because there's only 1 minute left. Whoosh! My rocket flew into space. It feels like i’m getting shot in gun and it's getting faster and faster. 65 years later…  I wake up and saw the milky way the stars are shining like a gem.  The sun is hot as a flame. I finally saw planet earth. The earth looks like mixed paint and now I just need to go towards earth. I’m landing and going faster, the parachute pops out on the back of my rocket and I made it.

Terra firma!  

I was so excited to open the door but I can see the ground it was all messy the trees are all broken the building are wrecked. Did the humans do this? I’ve been sent to space for 65 years and they destroyed earth or the aircraft's drop bombs? and maybe Charles sent me to space to be safe. I walked around I can see my home I open the door it was destroyed. I looked around more and suddenly I fell… I woke up I was  in a bed I can see Charles in the kitchen I stand up and look at the mirror I can see myself I don’t have wrinkles I was so happy and I went to the kitchen and there's a lot of food. I was dreaming that I went to space and landed back to earth and saw the earth destroyed I said “This is my best dream ever!”

My mid year reflection.

This is my learning goals from term 1 and I'm gonna have my learning conference today. I hope you will like this slide!

Final Draft The Lion's attack WALT Recall events through the eyes of an animal.

Second Draft -The Lion’s attack

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when my recount has a

• Title
• Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
• Sequence of events:  What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
• Personal Comment:  How did the events make you feel?

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when my recount has a

• Title
• Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
• Sequence of events:  What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
• Personal Comment:  How did the events make you feel?

Improvements written in red.

Second Draft

The Lion’s attack

It was an afternoon on African Savanna. It was February , we were there because we are finding a river bank with our herd of buffaloes.  In our herd I'm the the biggest buffalo and we finally found a river bank to live beside.

It was early in the day, we were walking along the river bank when we smelt a pride of lions. We walked about three steps, then I  saw lions jump on the calf. The calf was shouting for help, but  there are five lions we ran to our herd of buffaloes.

Then the lions were getting the calf away from the  river and crocodile appeared and tried to steal the lion's lunch. Then the lions and crocodile were fighting for the calf and the lions got the calf.

We ran towards the lions and surrounded them. I could see  that the calf very injured and i'm very angry to the lions I charged at the  lion with my horns and the lion flew in the air. Another lion just run away, but my friend buffalo chased the lion away and there three lions left. The three lions ran away from us because they got surrounded of herd of buffaloes then the buffalo chase them.